I’ve been thinking about vulnerability and intimacy this morning as I’ve been getting ready for work.
They’re elusive beasts, aren’t they?
There are four people in my life that I can be totally vulnerable and open with. Four that I trust with everything that goes on inside of my mind and my heart. Four that I can speak totally freely with. Of those four, three have come into my life within the past 6 years or so. Three are platonic friends, and one is… well… dancing with me.
In the beginning it is a dance. Especially when that person touches those super-sensitive and vulnerable places within us. It’s a dance of “I’ll tell you something about me that I’m ashamed of or embarrassed by, and I’ll see how you react to it”… and then if the reaction is positive and makes you feel safe, you’ll do it again. If the reaction isn’t what you expected, and makes you feel unsafe, you won’t do it again. Or at least you’ll wait some and then see what happens from there. If you find someone who can meet you in the dance, someone who will dance with you, it’s a chaotic and scary thing – yet it’s the most beautiful thing you’ll ever experience.
You’ll bump into table corners, you’ll bump into each other, and you’ll even stumble at times. That’s okay.
We all decide who our dancing partners are. We all decide when and if we want the dance to end. Sometimes it ends abruptly, stopped by both partners. Sometimes one partner stops dancing. Sometimes the dance goes on forever. It’s a risk, and a scary one at that.
And yet, if we’re brave, when we meet someone who touches those places in us, we just can’t stop from asking them, “Will you dance with me?”.
And sometimes, they do.